Sleepless nights...

It has been almost a week... The moment I was awake during the night time.. felt like there were more than the moment I was awake during the day time.. What on earth is going on within me? Who can give me an answer to this? I'm getting fed up with these.. It's reali suffering.. It could really kill me off if this keep on continue!! I gotta put an end to this.. But how should I do this? What should I do to handle this freakin problem that can damage my whole life? F*!!!

Is this my faith? Is this the answer? Did I deserve to live like this? What the hell did I do wrongly which led me to this kind of life? This ain't me! This ain't the life that I want! I deserve a better life! I deserve the best sleeping moment than everyone else!

How I wish you were here right now.. Feeling your heartbeats.. Lying in your arms.. It's like the moment when you're hugging me is the best time in my life.. I really do feel secured when you're around.. I really do feel loved when you're with me.. You're the one who just can make me calmed.. All these days.. Your existence saved my life.. I am willing to walk behind you.. Even you wouldn't let me to do so.. I want to feel that I am different while being with you.. I want to feel that I'm grown up while being with you.. But I am confused after all.. Which is the true me? Is this me? Why do I still feel like I haven't fully recovered my true happiness?

All these things... really make me realized that.. it really takes time.. it really takes me more time to work through everything..

It was really painful being all alone.. It was really suffering when no one could answer your calling from heart..


Could you hear me..? Will you ever noticed? Ohh again.. it takes time...